1. Journaling. What's the obvious gift for an aspiring writer? For my last birthday, family and friends agreed the answer was a leatherbound journal. I used to regard such journals with reverance and awe, afraid to touch them and spoil their pristineness but now, with a stack of beautiful journals I find myself writing in them more and more. I love using them in a stream of consciousness way. I keep it in my purse and I write when the mood strikes, sometimes a grocery list, sometimes a poem and drawing, snippets for a future story, and other times lengthy thoughts on my day. I highly recommend pen to paper journaling because there's something different about putting your thoughts down like this as opposed to on a computer screen.
2. Throw Pillows. I just filled the last of my floor cushions. We got the covers from Pakistan and I have them in my family room. They are perfect to grab and toss to lie on while reading a book or lean on when you sit around chilling with friends.
3. Random beautiful January days. January is supposed to be cold, bleak and gray. Just a few days ago I looked out to drizzly rain and fog, but today the skies parted and it was amazing to feel spring-like breezes after months of cardigans, blankets and socks.

Labels: 3bt

posted by Aisha @ 9:21 PM || 6 comments

My final list of 100 books are up! I'm so happy I reached this goal. Thanks to such a large reading challenge I read more books than I ever would have and I know my life enriched from the experience. This year my goal is back down to 50 books for a few reasons but most importantly, I found myself not reading certain books simply because they were too long and hopefully with half the books I won't have to do that.

In any event, here are some highlights from my readings in 2009. Each link takes you to my review of the book. I hope some of these are of interest to you!

Favorite Fiction: The Shadow of The Wind
Favorite YA Fiction: The Blue Notebook and Confetti Girl
Favorite Chick Lit: How to be Single
Favorite Classic: Revolutionary Road
Favorite Non-Fiction: Ornament of the World
Favorite Spiritual book: The Garden of Truth
Favorite book on writing: 78 reasons your book will never be published
Book that made me think: Life of Pi

I am slowly compiling my list of books to read for 2010. I know many of you kindly gave me suggestions several months ago and I'm looking forward to including those in my list of readings this year. BUT- can you please share your favorite books with me again and why you liked it? Your input much appreciated!

Labels: 2010 book challenge, books

posted by Aisha @ 3:32 PM || 11 comments

When I made my list 109 things to do in 2009 I looked forward to 2010 and reviewing what I accomplished. Things have been hectic, and I can't believe we're already in the middle of January so its about time I updated! All the goals I listed out here.

In 2009 I met 61 of my 109 goals... about 56%. Quite an uptick from 2008 where I reached 48 of my goals completing 44% of my goals. Here's a quick run down of the coolest goals I met:

Do the 100 book challenge. My list for 2009 is not fully updated but I reached this goal! I am supremely proud of having read this many books but this year my goal is cut in half to 50 books again because with such a high reading goal I found myself turning away from lengthy books and I normally love lengthy books because you can really fall into the characters and their lives more completely. Hopefully soon I'll post my favorite books of 2009.

Research and create a book proposal/pitch. Research and locate publishers and agents. Send my novel out. These were carry over goals from 2008 and the three I was least looking forward to since it involved the whole putting my heart on my sleeve and facing rejection. I did get plenty of rejections but amazingly I also found my agent this year. I credit part of my motivation to keep on plugging along to my list because it was a public reminder of something I promised myself I would try.

Write in my gratitude journal nightly for two weeks. Though I try to write three beautiful things each Thursday, this year I decided to start doing this every day in my journal before going to sleep. In the book Happier, the author says this practice has been found to correlate with better outlooks in individuals. I agree. Though I made the goal to do this for two weeks, I find myself continuing to write daily. It's amazing to look back, particularly if you're feeling down, at the lists of beautiful things. I find it gives me a sense of perspective.

See a live event. I saw quite a few live events but one thing I learned this year is how much I love watching singers who are up and coming in the smaller venues they typically perform at. As opposed to large stadium venues where the performers look like stick people, at more local concerts, you have good seats for cheaper prices and a chance to hang out with the performer afterwards.

Figure out my next step. A seemingly simple goal but one that did not come easy. It remains to be seen if I made the right decision, but so far I have no regrets.

I loved doing my lists these past two years. It's fun to tick things off and because years can sometimes fly by without you noticing it forces you to really consider the things you want to accomplish in a year and live that year a bit more mindfully. This year I will make a new list, but I don't know if it will 110 things to do in 2010 or a smaller, shorter list, with goals nonetheless that hopefully I will be lucky enough to accomplish this year.

I hope you met your own goals in 2009 and here's 2010 and a chance to try again!

Labels: 109 in 2009, Year in Review

posted by Aisha @ 4:32 PM || 3 comments

I can't believe another year is almost coming to an end. I can't believe I say this every year and each year this sentiment could not be truer. Most amazing is to realize we are approaching a new decade. People sometimes scoff at year end reflections, but I think its beautiful to stop and reflect on the changing of the seasons and the passage of time. If we don't have natural markers such as birthdays, new years, we may never pause and reflect what we have done with our time, and what we can do going forward. This decade has been an amazing one. I got edumacated a lot, got hitched, changed careers three times, lived in three different states, and went through some of the most difficult moments of my life and some of the richest experiences as well.

When the decade began I kept wondering where I'm going and felt anxiety as the horizon looked ambiguous. Now, I realize the future is always ambiguous but that's not the point, the point is not where you are going but the sheer fact that you're blessed enough to go.

Growth and pain are often companions. In this decade and this past year I've had to confront parts of myself I never fully considered, and was forced to reflect on things I never would had life not tested me as it did. Still, as I stand on the precipice of a new year and a new decade, I am finally at peace with the pain because from it I have undeniably grown. You never want to have to sprint uphill to the top of Mount Kenya, but once you've done it there is a profound sense of satisfaction that you were capable of doing so.

Here's to 2010. I pray I will implement the lessons I learned in this decade and particularly this year. I pray to remember the scarcity of time, the importance of holding those we love close to our hearts, and to appreciate the good in our lives and do what we can to learn and gain strength from the challenges placed in our way. And I pray the same for you.
posted by Aisha @ 12:48 AM || 3 comments

Several weeks ago I made a chickpea dish in a small metal pot on the stove and burnt the bottom of the pot into a dark grimy gritty black coating every square inch. I tried all sorts of cleaning products. I scrubbed until beads of sweat appeared on my forehead but the thick coat would not budge. I soaked it for three days in soapy water to try again, but nothing. Should I throw it away? I thought. It served me well for seven years, maybe today it just could do no more. I poured in some water and left it there. Each day as I cleaned dishes or scrubbed a pot I saw it sitting there. I changed the water but refused to touch it, each time tempted to chuck it in the trash. Then today, two weeks later, as I cleaned the pressure cooker from last night's dinner I emptied the water from the small pot and decided to try to clean it once more, one last time. This time this hard gritty exterior yielded like flour in my hands. Within minutes I stared at my shiny metal pot. And to think I almost gave up.

When I stood on the Lanai overlook in Hawaii and saw the waves crashing against the spires of ancient volcanic ashes I felt God's presence so close to me I felt enveloped in His embrace. Today as I consider this metal pot, how gritty it looked, how impossible it seemed to salvage, now shiny and new in my hands, I felt that same powerful presence because even in this tiny little pot, in this nondescript house amongst thousands of others, His signs abound.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -Albert Einstein

Labels: faith

posted by Aisha @ 12:57 PM || 9 comments

I don't know if I've ever seen a more beautiful e-mail subject line as "Offer of Representation" An agent, a bonafide agent at a bonafide agency read what I wrote and loved it. Though my friends and family smiled and encouraged me, I also knew they loved me so they couldn't exactly fling the document in my face and scream the horror! the horror! But an agent could, and so many did, albeit not in so many words, they were more polite like, Thank you for your interest. We are not interested. So naturally when the offer came, and the contract arrived in the mail and I signed with my favorite black pen, I felt relieved and wanted to take a nice long nap. I was done. Except a few hours later my agent e-mailed me with an attachment of my manuscript with so many suggestions I felt bewildered, you did like this didn't you?

I felt my heart get sucker punched as I saw cherished sentences I spent hours revising slashed, charachters whose perspectives I spent days imagining, red inked as unnecessary. I read somewhere that when you get agent/editor feedback you must read it like you would swallow a bitter pill, quickly with scrunched shoulders. Then, put it away for a while and go back to it.

So I did. And the next day I grudgingly realized that yes, that sentence could be done away with, we don't need to know what this character is thinking as it doesn't move the story forward. In this way I slowly began rewriting, and now that I've finished, I look at the finished product and I am amazed at how much better this manuscript is.

I remember asking Ms. Bruno in 10th grade English after reading a beautiful haunting poem by Edgar Allen Poe, do you think he had to rewrite this at all? She looked at me like I asked her if babies grow on trees. Everyone, even the greats, perhaps especially the greats, rewrite. Any book you will ever read on writing will tell you to brace yourself for the first draft because it will stink and you will want to fling it into the first available source of burning lumber you can find. It is in the rewrites that a book gets beautiful and worthy of anyone's else's eyes but yours.

In some ways life is like that. When we first began communicating we babbled. When we first walked we staggered. Most of us study for the grades we get, practice the cuisines we have now perfected. Life is rife with first drafts, opportunities we refine and from which we grow.

I remind myself this as I sit down, ready to begin the first draft of another story. I see her in my head and I know what she is wearing. I see the lines of worry etched on her forehead. I will sit down tonight and write about her. I am prepared for a first draft that will smell like two day old tuna, but I know that as with all things in life, the beauty is in the refining, the polishing until it shines like gold.

Labels: writing

posted by Aisha @ 5:03 PM || 7 comments

A few months ago while driving to the library I noticed an "Opening Soon" sign on a once empty restaurant space a few miles from our house. As the weeks went we perked up as we saw it was a Moroccan restaurant. We watched as curtains popped up, and outdoor seating spaces were carefully arranged and then finally, we saw the words we' been waiting for: Now Open.

Last night we met up with a small group of friends, eager to try it out. Walking in, we were pleased. The decorations were fantastic. Lovely maroon and gold rugs strewn throughout, tables with beaded sequins, and impressive paintings in lovely frames. Music played gently in the background and the lighting was exquisite. We ordered a variety of things, promising to share with another and eagerly awaited our food.

And waited.
And waited.
And waited.

We arrived at the restaurant around 7:30pm and ordered about fifteen minutes later. I turned to K and asked what time it was: 9:00pm. We waved over the waitress who informed us dinner would be at least another fifteen minutes.

One hour later, we got our food.

At this point I thought, whatever they gave me short of a live baby duck would be devoured with great satisfaction but I was wrong. The kebobs were cold undercooked, and bland. The moroccan style potatoes seemed mysteriously like McDonald's frenchfries (and there is a McDs right next door). No one liked their food. And the food, it wasn't cheap.

For the most part, I avoid bad restaurant experiences because I'm all about research. Chef Google leads to me to lovely review sites. I take reviews seriously, particularly when there are comments to explain the ratings, and usually lean towards higher rated establishments and avoid the ones that are consistently poorly rated. This has worked for me and in an effort to pay it forward, I also review on sites like yelp and tripadvisor. This restaurant had no reviews since its only a few weeks old.

Normally after such a bad foodie experience I'd immediately hit up my usual review sites and tell them what I've told you: The food, it did stink. However, I hesitate. Five years ago I went to a start-up restaurant that had high reviews on zabihah.com and the food was abysmal. I went home and reviewed it. As soon as I did so, a few others chimed in with similar reviews. The rating plummeted as the days passed. The restaurant owner chimed in, quite upset at the reviews and a month later, the restaurant shut down.

I'm not saying I caused the restaurant to shut down, but I'm saying I felt really guilty about it. They were a small start-up just trying to make a buck and perhaps my review dissuaded others from going. Though that's the whole point of reviews, to help each other out figuring out what to eat in a city of so much food, it still sucks they went out of business. After that, I stopped reviewing small start-ups unless I loved the food, and this has worked well until last night. You see, the food, it really did stink. And did I mention it wasn't cheap? I would have loved it if someone had given me a heads up about this and I could have spent my money on the Chick-fil-a across the street instead. But I feel bad. The owner had that desperate look in his eye, and you could tell he was wondering if he'd go under next month. I'd hate to write a bad review and then feel responsible for his dream tanking.

So the question is, if you ate at a bad restaurant, and you knew you would be one of the first people to review the restaurant online, likely dissuading others from eating there, would you go ahead and review it knowing there's a risk you might single-handedly be responsible for someone's lifetime dream of owning a restauring going down the toilet?

Labels: food, restaurants, Review

posted by Aisha @ 8:28 PM || 6 comments

Pomegranates. It's pomegranate season and I've never taken advantage of it before. When Ramadan was in the winter season I loved sprinkling my fruit chaat with this fruit but I never considered just shelling out the dark red seeds and eating it by the bowlful. The thought intrigued me so I put in my list of 109 in 2009. I figure one must in their lifetime aspire to eat a bowl of pomegranate if one can. I can't believe I waited this long! I love the sweet crunchy flavor of eating the seeds by the spoonful and even shelling them out is a labor of love.

Salt Rock Lamp. Even before reading about the benefits of salt rock I knew this was no ordinary lamp. First the glow is soothing and surprisingly strong yet gentle, and just placing ones hands on its warmth and closing ones eyes. . . you feel like all your worries for the brief seconds your hands touch the warmth, have all evaporated. They are made in the Himalayas of Pakistan and if you check before you buy, most of the ones for sale are produced via Fair Trade.


My bloggy friends. Y'all. I feel overwhelmed by your kind comments and your genuine joy over my news about getting an agent. Reading your comments seriously put a smile on my face. It was so awesome to hear from some of you who have been reading from way back in the day. I didn't even know you guys stopped by. Thank you SO much for your warm comments, and for still coming by, it felt like a big bear hug from each and every one of you! Sometimes I've thought about stopping my blogging since I'm so infrequent these days but moments like that just make me want to keep going. Thank so much!

Labels: 3bt, blogging

posted by Aisha @ 12:38 AM || 5 comments

I love to write. As a child I wrote with abandon, without fear or insecurities nagging at me. Yet, once I hit college, I stopped writing. I thought about writing a lot, but actually putting pen to paper just didn't happen. Fear, instead, took over. How could I presume to ever see my book in print when there were so many writers out there trying to make it? I began getting books on "how to write" and "get published quick" and reading them cover to cover. I browsed the "Writer's digest guides" and "Writer's Market" and then stuck them back on the shelf. I fancied myself a writer yet I stopped writing altogether. I became a teacher, and then I went to law school. You would be surprised with how many published authors are also lawyers. I think law school is the safe choice for people who love the written word but are afraid to take a risk.

Despite different career paths and different hobbies, the desire to write stayed with me. I wrote about my frustration and then one day, I wrote about how inspiration struck in 2007. Suddenly I saw the girl who wanted me to write about her. Some writers say this happens, you just suddenly see a character and they lead you down their path. I felt like a journalist at first taking in the facts of her life and then slowly more visualization came in and I kept writing. I had to push out my fears of getting published, and failure and just write because writing felt so natural and good and the public recognition of it ceased to matter. My story mattered and even if it only was read by me, it was worth it.

After many revisions, and edits, whole hearted red X's across the white pages, a kind author, family and good friends who agreed to read and felt brave enough to give me honesty, I was done. Being done, it became time once again to face my fears. I had to take this writing that I slaved over for years and finally put it out into the world where people would not cradle it as gently as I had or spare my feelings perhaps as my friends might have as they read it. I wrote about my fear, a lot.

I sat with my manuscript, afraid to send it out into the world for some time. The odds sucked. I would likely get enough rejections to paper the walls of my house. Did I need to feel that pain? I read somewhere 500,000 writers try each year and only a few hundred succeed. Who did I think I was?

After some time in limbo land debating whether to make a healthy bonfire and toss my manuscript in, I decided I had to try. Yes daydreams are comforting because in your dreams you succeed, I knew I had to walk down the road and find if my dream was just an illusion or something that could truly be. So I looked my fear in the eye and I leapt. If I failed, at least I would know to put this dream to rest.

In May, I went to the bookstore and looked up authors who write in my genre and found out that most of them had one agent in common. I looked up the agency, they accepted unsolicited work. But- this is the same agency that represents Amy Tan and Lisa See. I knew my odds were slim to none but what did I have to lose? I sent my submission in on October 16. Then I sent in some to a few other agencies. I had a list of 100 and my plan was to tick them off one by one, and at first as I began getting rejections my heart sank as I pictured crossing of number 100.

And then, I got a request from my dream agency. They wanted to read my full manuscript. And then, just this week I got the e-mail:


So in the most long winded way I know how, this post is to tell you that a dream I've harbored since a child just might be coming true. The Sand.ra Di.jk.stra Literary Agency believes they can sell my book.

The process is far from over. I still have to revise the manuscript once more, it has to be submitted to publishing houses, and someone has to like it enough to buy it, so I still have a ways to go before my book is something you will see in bookstores, but, there is a chance, there is an ever growing flame of hope that my dream will come true.

There once was a time I wrote a lot more on this blog and had a lot more readers. I can't be sure who reads now but I know some of you have been here for a very long time and have been there to support me as I wrote about my fears and hopes about my dream of writing. Thank you to you guys, y'all reading these meager words on the screen and responding and caring went a long way in boosting my confidence.

Labels: writing

posted by Aisha @ 6:52 PM || 31 comments

Just now, updating my book review site, it occurred to me how many books I've read in the past few years. Since writing a book, the reading process has changed for me. Each book I read, whether written by a debut novelist, or a seasoned veteran involved months, if not years, of research, writing and rewriting. It involved agents, editors, publishers, trusted beta readers. I thought about this as I just finished another book, tossed it in my library basket and sat down to review it. I read this book in two days, it took me about ten minutes to review it, and then I look on to my next book. Yet behind each book casually read is so much hard work and hope. A book is a story, but its more than that, within each book is a part of the soul of he who wrote it.

Labels: books, writing

posted by Aisha @ 7:06 PM || 2 comments

Today as I drove home I saw a squirrel in the distance standing on its haunches in the middle of the road. I shrugged. It would move. They always do. George Costanza kindly pointed out that its an unspoken agreement between us and the squirrels and birds. They may wait until the last minute, but they move. Not this squirrel. As I approached I realized this squirrel was going nowhere. I had to swerve to avoid it. Then, I stopped at the stop sign and as I hit the accelerator this squirrel darted in front of my car again! Luckily I missed it again, but then it actually raced with my car! Naturally, a car outruns a squirrel so I beat said squirrel, but I am fairly convinced this rodent had a death wish.

Nuts, acorns, and berries and hopping from tree to tree. No business meetings, no economic downturns or 401Ks. You'd think a squirrel's life is an ideal life, but I tell you, this squirrel had a death wish and it seemed eager for me to grant it. I wish I had contacts with the rodent world, perhaps a hotline (I suggest 1800Nuts) would go tremendously in the way of assisting the depressed squirrel population of my neighborhood. Clearly its a problem which needs addressing.

Labels: humor, life

posted by Aisha @ 1:37 AM || 1 comments

I went to a Joshua Radin concert tonight. I love REM, U2, and other big stars but going to a concert with them involves sitting in the nosebleeds and paying $65 for the privilege of doing so. A lesser known artist means cheap tickets and up close and personal access. He talked to us and told us the stories behind his songs and after the concert we met him and he signed our album!

What moves me most is watching an artist who writes and composes his own music. I'm watching him in the middle of his journey, who knows how far his talent will ultimately take him. To this effect, I particularly loved his song, no envy no fear:

Labels: concert, music

posted by Aisha @ 1:51 AM || 7 comments

In between submitting to agents and working on my next manuscript, I'm still chugging along on my 100 book challenge for my 109 in 2009. I've been very lucky to have had a spate of great books for a while now with each book as good as the last, but now I'm done out of books! Any books you read lately that you think are a must read? Please share, I'd love to request it from my library!

Labels: 100 book challenge, 109 in 2009, books

posted by Aisha @ 10:46 AM || 17 comments

I will now put on my Captain Obvious hat, and tell you I haven't been blogging much lately. In fact, not much this entire year. There are many reasons but the biggest one is when I write I tend to work on my manuscript or other writing projects. I still keep up with my book and movie reviews, and maybe at some point I'll begin updating this site more regularly. This isn't a hiatus, just saying what you already see, that the blogging isn't so regular, and probably won't be for at least the forseeable future.
posted by Aisha @ 10:42 AM || 6 comments

1. Watching the moon change each night before my eyes from nothing, to a sliver, until voila, we see the full round moon casting its moon shadow on our nightly walk. I can't believe I have not watched a lunar cycle in its entirety before.
2. Autumn is here! I love the crisp air and sleeping with the bedroom windows open, the hint of brown in the trees and pulling out the turtlenecks and boots in anticipation of the chilly weather to come.
3. Curb Your Enthusiasm. The HBO show. It's hilarious. Seinfeld times ten. Speaking of Seinfeld, they're reuniting on the show Sunday. Beautiful indeed.

Labels: 3bt

posted by Aisha @ 8:33 PM || 4 comments